


Punished By His Friends

by Lannakitty



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 04:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17822066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lannakitty/pseuds/Lannakitty
Summary: A "Love is in the Air" challenge fic for the Purple Parlor discord.





	Punished By His Friends

This year, Kalec was going to do everything right.

Not that he'd done things incorrectly the year prior. Well, in the eyes of some people the choices he'd made for the holiday were odd, but for Jaina they'd been apparently perfect. The starlight rose lived in a little pot on a table all to its own by her desk. The laboratory equipment he'd given to her had been appreciated and used. But this year... This year he was determined to provide Jaina with an evening that was also romantic. 

He had it all planned out. He would start with making her a splendid dinner at a romantic location. Kalec had already assembled everything he needed to make it happen. He'd picked an area in Azsuna high in the mountain that overlooked his territory there. There was a small waterfall and pond and plenty of flat space for a table and some chairs. He'd moved those last week. He had enchanted candles that could float in the air to provide illumination. He'd put in an order for cut flowers and her favorite chocolates. He'd acquired an enchanted music box and thought perhaps maybe he could convince her to dance with him. He was going to assemble some blankets and pillows so they could watch the stars together.

There was just one thing standing in his way.

Archmage Modera arched an eyebrow at him as he entered her office. "Ready for class?" she asked.

"About that - I was hoping I could take the day off," he asked. If he wanted to get everything set up he needed to start by two at the latest.

"Kalec you have three classes today and office hours."

"Yes I was hoping you could take those over? I, ah, thought I could cover everything but I, uh made plans and-"

"You want to set up an elaborate romantic getaway because of this Love is in the Air goblin nonsense."

"Er- yes." He'd been so wrapped up in his planning he'd completely forgotten that they'd switched their schedules around the week before.

Modera gave him a very level look. The look dragged on and Kalec found himself fidgeting. "I can take those for you, but you are going to have to do some errands for me."

"Errands? I can do that," Kalec agreed.

Modera's smile was terrifying.

* * *

"ROAR!!!!" the magma giant roared. The its breath was concentrated sulfur stench that made Kalec's eyes water.

"I don't want trouble with you," Kalec explained once the giant was done roaring. "I'm just here for some spell components-" He dodged out of the way as a massive, molten hand swung at him. "If you would just go about your day I'll be gone in a few-" He dodged, again, his boots sliding across the rock. He jumped to the side and the rock under his feet cracked and began to collapse into the lava below. Kalec teleported away, scowling as the massive giant roared frustration and dumbly looked around for him.

Sighing, Kalec assumed his natural shape. The magma giant turned with another bellow, the hot acrid breath washing over him once more. Kalec gagged, shook his head then, blew freezing breath across the giant. The giant began to slow as it cooled, making distraught sounds as it froze.

Kalec shook his head, resumed his smaller form and harvested the needed fire-moss and flame-bloom from the side of the bubbling crater. He stashed the reagents and made a portal back to azeroth for his next errand.

* * *

The swamp smelled worse than the magma giant. The toads, when squeezed gently, smelled even worse than that. The sludge was in his boots. His toes squished with every step. He was going to have to burn this outfit and probably the first layer of his skin before he even attempted cooking.

If the stench lingered, he was going to kill Modera.

* * *

The rotten eggs weren't as bad as the swamp, but they broke across his scales and oozed in between them in a rather disgusting way. The harpies were also flinging more than rotten eggs. Something wet and warm smacked into the side of his head and slithered into his ear. Kalec tossed his head and corkscrewed his flight to try to fling off whatever foulness he could as much as to shake off the screeching harpies and their slashing talons.

Why Modera wanted a half dozen rotten harpy eggs, he didn't know but it was on her list and so he had them.

* * *

Kalec sighed as the line shuffled forward one person more. It had been an hour. He'd come late, just barely making it before the event coordinator had cut off the line. He didn't know what he would have done for Modera if the line had been cut off before he got there. He supposed she'd have to have found the author of these books another time. Whatever they were. 

Curious, Kalec opened the satchel and pulled out one of the books.

"Waves of Desire" was the first. "Savage Passions" was the second, followed by "Blue Moon", Forbidden Love," and "Hot and Misty." He blinked at the titles. 

Opening one he read a bit of it and... yep. It was a steamy romance novel. A bad steamy romance novel by the looks of it. The line shuffled ahead one more place. Kalec put the book back. His fingers tapped against the strap of the satchel. How did one write a smutty romance about the undead anyway?

Despite himself, he pulled one of the books out again. It wasn't the same one, but this one had a human on the cover, but had the strange title of "Got Milk?" Kalec opened the book and began to read.

* * *

"Find everything?" Modera asked when Kalec returned at five after two. Kalec scowled at her. modera grinned.

Kalec set the jar of spell reagents down then let the book satchel thump down on the desk.

"Interesting reading?"

Kalec glared.

"Shall we never speak of this again?" Modera suggested.

Kalec scowled more deeply.

Modera smiled sweetly and waved him off as she turned her chair around. "Have a nice night, Kalec!"

Kalec stalked home, already planning what he was going to do to get his perfect romantic night set up. He was startled when he could smell something burning in the apartment when he opened the door.

Panicked, he raced for the kitchen as an alarm began to sound. The alarm cut off before he got there.

"Bloody-" Jaina cut herself off mid-curse as she waved a large tray at the smoking oven. The kitchen was a disaster. There were eggs on the ceiling. A roast had been tied, but so far hadn't been subjected to the oven. The same could not be said for... Kalec wasn't certain if it was a pie, a cake or something else. It was black.

Jaina sighed and tossed the pan to the lone free spot on the table. She sighed, forlornly. 

"Fuck," she said, resigned.

"Uhm?"

She jumped, startled. "Kalec! You're home early! She said-"

"Jaina are you okay what- Wait..." He looked from the piled pots and pans and the charcoal pie. "Were you cooking?"

"Evidently not?"

"Were... did you ask Modera to keep me busy?"

Jaina smiled apologetically and gestured with an oven-mitt covered hand. "Surprise?"

Kalec huffed out a laugh. "Let's get this cleaned up and then maybe we try dinner together?"


End file.
